How do I decide who deserves more of my time?

How do I decide who deserves more of my time?

By our late forties, most of us have enough responsibilities to know that every YES takes time from somewhere else. One research finding puts this into perspective: Jeffrey Hall at the University of Kansas estimated that close friendships typically took more than 200 hours together to develop. These were estimates from friendship research, but they make a useful point: meaningful relationships need a real investment of time.

Read the article: (https://news.ku.edu/news/article/2018/03/06/study-reveals-number-hours-it-takes-make-friend)

For me, three questions help:

• Are they interested in my world as well as their own?
• Do they follow through on what they say?
• Over time, do our conversations bring understanding, enjoyment or progress?

Imagine this: one spends 90 minutes explaining his next big idea, asks to “pick your brain”, then disappears until he needs another free consultation. The other listens, shares something useful and does what he promised. The first has ordered a flat white and accidentally hired a consultancy. I’d give the second person more room in my diary.

Of course, a friend who needs support deserves my time too. Relationships have uneven seasons. I look for a repeated pattern, rather than judging one difficult afternoon.

And a good laugh with someone I care about is time well spent. My rule: be generous with people who value the relationship, and put a sensible fin